Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Why children object their divorcee or widowed parent to have sex?

Why children object their divorcee or widowed parent to have sex?
image source: internet

It’s really hard to survive with the fact that your parents are divorced or you lost one of your parents. Well in both the cases (divorce/widow) children lose their complete family and feel frustrated. They just don’t want to see this separation.  It has been seen that things become more difficult and dramatic when the parents are divorced. The child who was used to their guardians and their day to day living and love has to adjust him/ her according to the realities of the world. He/she has to adjust to the maximum and sacrifice the whole concept of family.

The parents who were so much in love and affection are now dating other person which not only creates a mental tension among children but a kind of revolt inside their little hearts. The children cannot see and accept some stranger taking the place of their mother and father. For them their parents are ideal match no matter how much they fight .Its a usual issue among families which are going through the process of divorce.

Talking about widowhood , the families where children lose their one parent , it could be mother or father , they know that their one member of the family has been gone and there is no way of bringing them back but still they preserve the position of the lost member by assuming or imagining their existence and presence in their hearts.

But what about the person who is left alone? Well children may feel that they are the only one who are affected at the greater level by the death of their parent but the biggest loss is suffered by the guardian who lost his/her companion. Parents not only play the role of guardian but they had many roles with their companion. From good friends to good lovers to good emotional bonds they share everything with each other. The death is seriously something which creates suicidal feeling among the left alone partner. The father or mother whomsoever is facing widow hood cannot share every need and want with their children. As a human we have many needs and wants, we all are running towards our needs and wants in our one life then how we cannot expect the needs and wants of our parents?

 Well most of the children and society put restrictions on the widowed parent by banning his/her sex life and social life. Well banning here does not mean like any law or something but by putting social restrictions and remarks. If the widowed parent engages himself/herself in  love affair or sex encounters , things become over dramatic as his/her casual relationships and sex encounters are considered taboo.

Well this restriction generally starts from children’s side first as they do not motivate their parent for dating, instead they encourage them to devote their rest of life for their welfare and upbringing which is surely the most meanest and selfish trait of today’s youth.

The person who is widowed is not a criminal, he/she is already facing the pain of sacrifice and detachment but still the youth puts restrictions on their parents with the most common excuse that “we cannot allow anyone to take our mother/father place.”

Sex is a pure body need and there is no shame about it. It’s a well justified need and every one has right to enjoy their life and their own personal space. Being a parent is not a punishment and being widowed or divorcee is not a curse, every person is human first and foremost and fostering self needs and wants is seriously not a sin.

The divorcee parents who don’t feel uncomfortable with there ex due to any valid reasons do have the right to start their new life with new choices. Children’s do not have any right to control the life of their divorced parents. Divorce is a critical option only taken when things do not work out in any way.

It’s the mutual duty of parents to adjust their liabilities and issues smoothly , it’s a fact that the life of children is affected by this critical and most heart breaking decision of divorce but carrying the load of an unsuccessful marriage is seriously not a wise option.

We get one life and no one knows what happens next after this life. Being born as a human is a blessing so gain this opportunity by enjoying love and pleasure in life , don’t waste this one life in unnecessary quarrels and fight as at the end of the day you will be left alone with nothing but regret.

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