Monday, November 26, 2012

How to solve Misunderstandings and adjustments in new marriage?



As you all know marriage is the most important decision of our life and before marriage our life is different and after marriage it’s different. In any case we should be ready for that big change in our lifestyle as marriage is not like buying a vehicle. It’s something bigger than ever important decision of our life. We often notice that our parents advocate early marriage as they find it the most judicial in every sense. Early marriage may not be a best option for today’s youngsters but it has wide variety of benefits. From our sex need to our social need to our emotional need everything is shared beautifully with the partner we can trust. It’s really better than girlfriends and boyfriends as sharing the personal and emotional needs with a girlfriend or boyfriend may put you in great danger as the person is not bonded by any ritual or law.

Even the job oriented people who are against early marriage will be benefited with early marriage concept as the responsibilities and liabilities are mutually shared by both the partners. Although there are great variations in this as not every partner is ready for adjustments and compromise.

The biggest thing which hampers the whole concept of marriage is the so called male ego. The man always want to see their wife in the secondary position as they can never tolerate the dominance of woman in anyway. Things become sarcastic and dramatic when woman is used with no acknowledgment and applause. Working woman is demanded by today’s metropolitan men as they do not trust their own purchasing power to run the kitchen. The unlucky part lies in the fact that these working woman has to work outside as well in household to gain the respect and favor from the In-laws.

The patience and sacrifice is treated as the girls duty and their body is treated as working machine. No matter how much urbanized mankind has become it still does not offer complete independence to woman.

The misunderstandings are created in family on the issue of dowry and money. It’s a fact that every person takes time in adjusting in early marriage as woman has to start a complete new life by forgetting her previous life and home and the in-laws should be supportive and caring as every girl is someone’s daughter.

Well the only way to solve the misunderstanding and problem is by analyzing yourself into the place of the culprit. If you think that your husband is at fault then analyze his situation and circumstances by analyzing yourself in his place, you will defiantly get the answers to your problems, in the same manner the husband has to analyze the position of the wife and the circumstances she is dealing with.

Nothing is impossible in this world if we are ready to change it and at the last every person is human and humans do commit mistakes. the upbringing and lifestyle differences create disturbance and problems so its better to match the lifestyle and ideology before proceeding for marriage as sometimes people raised with different mindset find themselves trapped in someone else thinking. 

The girl must be ready to adapt to new things as her new home will be her home forever but this does not mean that she has to tolerate something which is unethical but again being too much stubborn is not an option.

On the other hand the guy should understand the position of the girl as leaving the home she has lived in for more than 20 yrs is not an easy task.





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