Friday, January 20, 2012

i know she was a lesbian but i still respect her

Once upon a time in December 2010 , the winters were quite appealing and romantic and I was on my journey with a aim and a perfect goal which once accomplished can give a perfect life to my family . I was very near to my goal, in fact I found it, and just needed some last minute preparations and my first word was Namaste (Hello). She smiled and replied back giving me my Namaste and I said to myself , yes I found her , she is the perfect one , a perfect companion , a perfect lover , a perfect helping hand , a perfect soul and last but not the least a perfect mother . Don’t get yourself confused, I found this lady through advertisements and I was looking out for my perfect step mother who will erase that step and will act like my real mother. It was like a date, a special date where the girl meets the guy and the kids first time. Nothing was final and nothing was decided, we were just interacting to each other and we introduced our self as the perfect kids and she introduced herself as the perfect woman of this world. It was like talking to an angel. She was little shy but she was different. She told us about her likings and her leftover dreams and ambitions. Strangely she was little awkward in style and behavior. It’s incredible that she was so bold. From her clothing to her actions I can undoubtedly get confused as she was not so much feminine. She was kind of manly may be because of her profession or may be she was born with it. Strangely she didn’t applied any makeup on her face on the first date and guess what she was wearing? Shockingly she showed up in t-shirt and trouser , my cheeks were paining as I laughed limitless , a woman who is running in her 40s is wearing a male dress code and she was without makeup , I was expecting a cherry on the cake , a finishing touch and there it was she was wearing a boy cut hair style . Seriously it was pretty scary as she was not at all beautiful , she was ruining herself I don’t know why but I didn’t wanted to have her as my step mother . Common my friend’s gona laugh at me and my father was shocked like hell, thanks to bloody internet, this blind date was very annoying. Although we did not like her but still she was entertaining, surprisingly my sister liked her and they became friends. She was a friend or a familiar relative you can say and we turned down the option of step mother in her case. It was a scary experience but we were thankful to god as she was nice lady with good heart. It was more than a year and we were hanging out with her and a kind of trust was there and this friendship was certainly better than other fake relationships. It was a Saturday night and I was drunk, we were playing truth and dare and we invited her to the students after exam party, my so called loser friends were there and we were busy in this game as some stupid questions and some awful dare was expected by every one. Bingo the bottle was towards her and she choose the option of truth and I couldn’t control myself, it was a word of vomit and I asked her is she was a lesbian? Man that was bad, every one was quite like dead people and Her face was red like a fresh tomato, I was expecting a tight slap or an insult but surprisingly she laughed and smiled and she said yes I am a lesbian, thank you for not choosing me as your mother as I prefer woman not a man with kids. That moment was terrible and superficial, my mind was empty and my mouth went on a holiday. Well it was a lesson I cannot forget, my overconfidence and my immature nature made me feel pathetic. My question was disgusting and I felt awful, continuously I was feeling guilty and I apologized to her in private. I know she has forgiven me but that feeling is still hurting.

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