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I am so much busy thinking about the shape and size of my future. Well shape can be understandable but the concept of size is little funny. Well, it’s my internal and personal theory. I have always been very insecure about my future.
I know future is uncertain for everyone but sometimes we get a clue about our future and that clue creates a feeling of calmness and smoothness but when we are worried and when things go wrong , we become more cautious and alert about each and every coming minute.
Well as you all know me now. You know I am a very sensitive person and I take things more seriously then they actually are. My carelessness and my immature nature has gifted me lot of lessons but now I am recovering from them. I am trying to make my self much more responsible and the burden of responsibilities is killing me. I am seriously exhausted. Every day is a new task; it’s like playing any adventurous game with no gain.
I am feeling pathetic because I look pathetic due to all these demanding situations. I cannot give time to myself. I am always running here and there and working like a dog and barking at the negative rays and negative assholes that are creating hurdles with pleasure.
The worst part is that I am unable to detect my enemy. Well , my estimate says that my special friends and special well wishers are my enemies because their suggestions and advice always work in negative way and every time its me who is blamed and criticized because of their idea.
I want to become cold like others but I can’t. My nature never allows that. I love to be nice to all and I cannot ignore and hate anyone.
I am careful and excellent in acknowledging and admiring the good things and good nature and qualities of people. I try to ignore the bad things to some extent. If I am able to tolerate then its fine otherwise I prefer changing my way. I hate violence because it can waste my time and energy and other elements like money and power.
I guess I want to be good to others and I want to have a good feedback and expect love as the return gift because it gives me assurance and I feel that my future can become beautiful because of the people who are with me.
There are times when we are leading an excellently brilliant life and at that point we want to increase the period of that comfort zone. So, it’s a mixed jumbled positive dream, I dream of a good future in which i would be availing luxury . luxury is hard to earn but I am ready to earn it by dedication and passion without any shortcuts.