Tuesday, March 1, 2011

does it makes me gay?

Seriously unaware , i was trying to be a social worker to help people and i started

this journey few years back . My dedication and passion towards help and

acceptance came after my mother died. When i saw her in ICU , she was terrible .

Her severe condition made me helpless and i was fucked up by destiny. I didn't knew

what to do ? and i was keep on asking myself that how can i make things right? and

what should i do to turn the wheel against nature?

I knew at some point that my mother will not be there with me any longer but her

kidney transplant was successful and that was a very good news for me and deep

down i had this thought that doctors are angels and she will be alright but luckily as

my destiny was ready to fuck me badly , the doctor gave over dose of medicines to

my mother and she died. I was not even able to listen to her last words , she was

trying to speak but she couldn't..

Damn i hate this life and this environment , the hospital was only concerned about

the money and it was very professional for them but for me and my family it was


I remember that all my relatives and friends showered there true dirty colours on

me and my family. That was the last day i cried. I had this thought in my mind that i

don't care , i will do anything to help the people who faced situations like me and

those who suffered needs a brother and i was the one making myself ready for it. It

may seem bookish to you because you have not faced it.

The journey of being nice and helpful was tough and stressful because its not easy to

satisfy people and live up to there expectations. Many people were surprised to see

me helping , as selfishness dominates selfless people in this world.

I faced lot of criticism , anger , hate and got lot of labels. Its a fact that there are

very less who help selflessly and luckily i was one of them but as the journey was

becoming difficult for me , i got a small vision of light and yes , that was it. My efforts

were working and sooner and later i made a good position and respect among lots of

people and i was amazingly glad that i was there hero.

I was not doing any job of bravery , it was just a step to change the world and an

effort to remove violence and corruption.

I did very small tasks like i donated my artworks to NGO and made lots of artworks

for different issues to create awareness and invested all my pocket money for

plantation in areas where there is very dirty green belt , gave lots of free advices

which actually helped , gave free tuition's to kids , worked free of charge in firms ,

helped and worked in hospitals , even did cleaning in schools.

Among many things , i also attended and worked for lots of issues like homosexuality

, cancer , AIDS , Dowry , woman growth , over population , poverty etc..

After watching about the govt. ruling that homosexuality is legalised , i was curious

like any normal guy would be. I did lot of research and gathered lot of knowledge and

i started working for it.

As i have this God gifted art as my only way to express my help, I did whatever i

could at that time , I made lots of artwork on the topic of homosexuality , donated it to

various non profit orgnisations who are related to it and who are working for it and i

also met lots of people in my period of search and also made many friends but the

point is that talking about something makes you related to it?

If i am talking about homosexuality , that does not mean that i am gay but if you think

that then what you will call to your govt. who passed the rule of legalisation. Is your

govt. gay too?

The thing is its our legal mindset that we all are selfish freaks and we simply cannot

digest a picture of selflessness and if somebody stands and speaks for some issue ,

we have a habit of linking them together because we think that ,

" he/she must be getting something out of it or they may be the part of it."

Okay if i talk about dowry and work for that issue , does it mean that my family had

bad experience and we faced dowry?

Or suppose if i talk about AIDS or cancer or terrorism, " does it mean that i have

anything related to it..?" There are various organisations and there is our law and

order which works for various issues and they help people to maintain peace and

strength but they are not called upon for answers..

The thing is people have a habit of being judgemental and they behave like god, they

cannot help as they say that they don't have time but they have time to stop others

for helping anyone.

The day people will start realising that besides money and sex there are some other

things which can also be acknowledged , that day will be the last day of poverty and

crime. We all are just running for money and that's it , no one is concerned for

anyone and actually least bothered about anything and that is the only reason of

corruption , unemployment , poverty and terrorism.

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