Thursday, September 23, 2010

a new aim every minute as life is changing




Well aim , always had many.Never concentrated on a particular topic as we all are like that. we really don't know what we want ? and what we need ? but the truth is we want everything.

don't you think?

In wanting , many reasonable and unreasonable things come and in need , only justified reasonable things come. well i always wanted to be a model. yeah that's it. I never saw my life away from this.

Posing in front of camera and wearing  brands and doing lots of endorsements and getting known and recognized was my passion. It was something that really made me say yes that's what i am . I am a model and yeah i just love it. This was my want and need was money.

My parents are very orthodox , specially my father. He is a self made man. He worked extremely hard his whole life to give comfort to me and my sister and mother off course.
since i have tried to know this world i only realized the fact that my mother was extremely ill from start. I don't know but whenever i saw her , she was ill just ill and that's what was the condition.

she was suffering from kidney failure but she was living on medicines and regular treatment of dialysis. It was horrible. she really had strength that she survived and my father was just busy in making our life perfect. I really salute them because the conditions my family faced was more than a challenge.



Every day used to be a mess for us and as it happens usually no single relative was concerned because its a basic law ,everyone would be happy with your happiness but nobody will cry with you in your pain. well , its a gratefulness of my father that he never let anyone know that how much troubles we are facing.

Everyone used to make gossips about us and our home that "what's really happening in singla's house?" and i was surprised that how people get so much of time to do that thing. I remember that all those years i have been promising myself that yeah i will follow my dreams.

I was an above average student. I was never good at maths , in fact i hate it more than anything in the world but again its a crucial subject i admit now. I am born in an aggarwal family and that clearly means lots of delicious mouth watering food and i was the one who loved it too.

At that time as a child i never concentrated on my body , always i was towards studies..ya ! studies so that i can pass..lol and eating off course. I used to come from school and used to ask my mother to cook good delicious deserts for me and she used to do that besides being so much ill. I never realized that she is so much ill. Its a disastrous feeling that makes me guilty many times. why i never realized that she needed rest?

My family also used to pamper me by saying " yeah you could be a star" but they never told me that i should really work hard from childhood if i want to reach to my goal for modelling. But my family always preferred fields like medical , law , MBA and all those serious type jobs.

I never knew that height was so crucial for ramp modelling and both of my parents were not tall and when i realized and figured out that what i have to do to be a model , it was too late and life never gives second chance and my circumstances destroyed the remaining chances too.

People used to go on vacation to abroad or to different places and i used to go to hospitals. well i do not blame my family, i just feel why me ? what i did?

My second passion which used to take me out of control was art. I used to draw and paint everyday. no matter how bad my day is or how exciting it is , art was something that i cant say no. its my love, yeah art is my love with music off course.

My family was against art because one of my relative was from art field and he didn't succeed and they were scared and if it happens with me too. well , i trust myself but they don't.

when i lost my mother i took a promise from myself that i will never cry and i will show everyone that i am something , i am not a loser.

Now i am 23 yrs old and i got myself stuck in interior designing course , god it was so hard to convince my father for this and its also cool course as it has little bit of art too but i still regret that why not art?

still in that sweet ,silly corner of my heart i think that one day i will be graduated from art too. its my passion you know . so , like that my aim changes every minute..lol

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