Thursday, July 25, 2013

i dont want to be your friend

Trust me its good to be alone. I always wanted a good friend circle , i always begged for good friends but since school i never got chosen as a friend and was never accepted, i know its weird but its a fact and i was like why?

Am i the one who needs a change? or may be i am very possessive or i am too straightforward and i was keep on blaming myself that there must have been some weakness in me that's why i am being rejected and i started to build an imaginary friend and that was my reflection and i made that imaginary friend to do whatever people used to say and act and i found myself to be the one who do not require friends at all.

I always cared for people and may be it was over care and possessiveness but still i was trying my best to find out my demerits and my mistakes and its so cool to know that lots of people do not deserve me at all.

I figured out that i take my life seriously , in fact too seriously , i discuss my problems with people , i am too emotional and sentimental , i am not plastic , i don't have attitude , i don't know buttering , i don't know how to please others to make my jobs done , i don't like gossiping..

all these things contributed and i was left alone and it feels good to be alone because i am what i am. I don't have to pretend to be someone else to be with some people. At start it hurts but later you love it.

i was asking too myself then what friends are for?

if they don't care about you

if they treat your emotions as emotional drama'

if they get jealous easily

if they don't want to hear your story

if you cant trust them

then what ..?

seriously today friends are just to hangout to watch movies or to play or for some or the other advantage???

There is no meaning of friendship . I often read in books that friendship means knowing each other so well that understanding each other from the soul but that all information turned out to be fake in this real tough mean world.

people called me obsessed , they called me crazy , they thought i was a pile on , just because i was emotionally connected to them.

i think that they really didn't deserved my care ..and i was such a fool that i didn't realized that they are ignoring me but they are still with me to get there works done. how mean?

when i saw this mean face of friendship , i was so overwhelmed and happy to see my foolishness and i wanted to slap myself thousand times but that thing will not change the world so i was just regretting and that's all i could do at that moment of time. 

well friendship is just a word and every one has its own definition  The real meaning of friendship will always remain in books as humans don't do what they say..

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