Monday, April 5, 2010

life with regrets

Life would have been much better if i would have chose right things at right time. I speak this to myself every single minute. I don't know how i could correct myself or how this guiltiness will disappear .

yeah guilt i really feel bad when i think about my past.Sometimes i laugh at myself for doing such wrong things that were enough to ruin me completely but its more complex than it seems.

I really don't understand the way of life. at some point of time i got a tendency to hate people. I really hate liars because i have been through a difficult experience of meeting hypocrites and mean people.

Its not that bad to be a self centred person but when it attacks our inner soul then its really hurtful. I was a very sweet , honest , sensitive , sentimental , lovable , caring , extra possessive guy but these qualities equals to a dumb guy and

i admit i was dumb. I was not fast , i was not clever . i didn't knew how to say no, i didn't knew the art of fooling people and using there sentiments as a target. The bottom line is i was a emotional fool.

I got lots of friends, may be more than anyone would have. But believe me all were fake, i am not judging here . i am sharing my experience and that so called friendship game which people played with me.

I was so stupid that i really used to believe every single person from the core of my heart and i knew about some people for sure that they are useless parasites whoa re using me but i don't know why i was helping them

again and again. I had this sick thought in mind that maybe they are bad but i guess soon they will change themselves because they are getting honesty , trust , love and care from me and they are humans.

But i was so wrong. Today you cant tell who is human? and who is not? From outside we all look like humans but from inside we all have a dirty monster which takes place.

some of us let him dominate and some of us defeat him inside in advance. But when this so called monster inside us is not defeated . then the persons concerned and attached with this person becomes miserable and that's what happened with me.

People gave me torture and that was enough to make me realize how dirty this world is and how dirty people are living in it. I know its our own human nature to complain buts sometimes we are right.

we face things that we haven't expected. we get punishments from sinners and we cant help it. I sometimes think life would have been so charming and different if i would have trusted the right people and if i would have kicked the wrong ones from my list and if i would have loved the deserving ones and if i would have choose the right time for right things but nothing cant be done now.

i know i cant look back because that time will not come but i understand myself now more than any other person. its better to utilise your time on yourself rather than wasting it on some stupid people with hot looks and fake attitudes.

I have started loving myself and it really makes me feel wow. I know i am the best and i deserve what i think is right for me. now i don't need admirers. i don't need friends . i don't need anyone to make me feel good.

i don't need company because i don't feel bore at all. i really love to express myself and its a fantastic hobby i got that i utilise my time in knowing myself more and more and trust me it works.

earlier i used to run after people and they were ignoring me but now they run after me and off course it feels like being a king. thank you readers for being so grateful to me and for being such a wonderful companion in this journey of life. It was Pulkit mohan singla , signing off..take care and be good.

Total Pageviews

Follow by Email