Sunday, April 25, 2010

atttitude thats what i want to have

Attitude that's what i want to have now but earlier i didn't even knew how to pronounce it. I have always been a down to earth , helpful , soft spoken and people's addicted guy. From my childhood i only learnt one thing and that is to help people and to always do good for others and never wish anything bad for anyone that's what my parents taught me.

I respect them for making me a person who love to help others without any selfish motive but i realised that this path was giving me pain. I never learnt whom to trust and whom to not.
My father always say " GO SON HELP EVERYONE" but he didn't told me to choose people to help .
He believes that we sould be impartial to the people and to the world and we should always be ready to provide comfort , support , help and good knowledge to others but do people deserve this?

No they not, at least some does not deserve this at all but i don't know . The teachings i got from my family was unfit in this selfish environment. I always see my father helping people with medicines or any good suggestions and various kinds of other help like by money or food or clothing or just going with someone to get there work done or giving reference to benefit someone and stuffs like that.

From my childhood i am watching him doing this and this was really enjoyable. Ya it is.once you get a addiction to help others and be honest and good to others ,sooner or later you like it even if you find difficulties in your path.

but i don't know why this path was making my life as hell. every one focused on my weakness and they targeted my weakest points and they were all mean and arrogant and they used me again and again and i let them do that to me and i was mad enough to help them even after this and i always thought that may be they will realize one day that they should not do these things but i was so wrong.

They were the happiest person in the whole world because they got a stupid slave and they knew that we will talk politely to him and we will get our work done easily. how stupid i am..? i should change myself and make myself practical and arrogant and selfish but cant. I tried many times but its tough to change my soul. Its damn tough.

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